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A friend of mine asked me "but you know that Chinese people take care of their parents when they are older right? Do you not mind that?" and I just said that it just makes me more confident and feel safer that when something happens to me, noone will abandon me
JGC
No no, that's exactly what I mean in terms of family providing community instead of church
And yeah I'm the same way
Which is why I like church and bible study etc
and in China that community support is also outside of your family
10:56 AM
people have no boundaries there at all
10:57 AM
So if you are in the train, a stranger will start talking to you, if you have a problem they provide support and advice, maybe offer help
10:57 AM
It's very strange!
10:58 AM
It sounds interesting indeed.
10:58 AM
It can be troublesome sometimes of course, in China the therapy is not about solving problems like no attention from parents, being lonely etc, it's about building boundaries haha
Same in Taiwan
If you have enough money, you can send your old loved one to a care home in Taiwan
There, it's like 1:2 or 1:3 staff to client ratio
In the US it might be 1:15 and even 1:6 would be considered amazing
10:59 AM
Jobs taking care of old people are just not seen as worthy here
Don't make much money in Taiwan either but it's a cultural thing
Most women here I think would object strongly to the idea of that as their career, American values are different and taking care of people is increasingly dismissed as "real work"
One thing that is in China though is that 1 child policy made this flood of single children that parents pay a lot of attention to and care about them a lot, spoil them, support them as much as they can etc
11:03 AM
or protect them and become a tiger parent to push them to succeed in life(edited)
11:03 AM
I was a bit worried that with that my partner would just expect to be spoiled by me, but in their case it works in a very interesting way
11:03 AM
their mother was very spoiling, but father came from the background where life was tough so was teaching about appreciating it
11:05 AM
so... I am spoiling them a lot because I care about them and they like it because that's how they were raised, while my partner learned how to spoil others from their mother, and I'm being very spoiled by them I felt so strange in the beginning!
Her parents were very handholdy and involved and I got the impression her past boyfriends were too
I am not at all and neither is my family
11:07 AM
She was always acting like I was going to pick a petty fight or assume I was angry and I'd be like "no lol what's wrong with you it's your choice/deal/etc"
11:08 AM
I was raised to politely ignore stuff to allow someone the space to sort their own shit out
11:09 AM
You're not eating? I'm not even going to address it. I know for a fact her mom hassled her at every turn for that- and even though my old gf bitched about it, she liked that attention and was confused why I didn't give it to her- even though she thought it was evil and even abusive of her mother to act how she did!
I think it is called contrast effect, when what you experiences as abuse is something you know, that gives you comfort and are afraid of changing, because something different is unknown and scary, so you don't change it
11:13 AM
that's why abused children end up in abusive relationships as adults(edited)
Nah I was always a little worried the next text would be "Jamie I'm outside your house" and so I didn't want to block her in case I had to call da cops
I get shit for how much I liveblog aka just tell about my day online
I do that because growing up I literally never did, I never had the "tell me about your day"
No one ever asks me how my day is or what I do or stuff like that
But on the internet!
Other people find the freedom to act out, get in fights they'd never do irl
I act out and say what I had for breakfast
Jesus listens everytime you talk to him and Jesus has nothing better to do than listen, Jesus doesn't get pulled away to go to work or slump over drunk
Yeah lmfao
Under that mask I just know how much I'm worth somehow.
JGC
Jesus listens everytime you talk to him and Jesus has nothing better to do than listen, Jesus doesn't get pulled away to go to work or slump over drunk
Yeah lmfao
In the past I did go to Gavin about everything. But in his new life, he doesn't have that role because "you're an adult now" and we have some relationship problems
But we still sleep in the same bed lol so we're ok
Jesus, for me and Cassidy, is the most approachable aspect of the Trinity aka the three faces of the god Yaweh
This makes sense because Jesus is human and basically built to be that person you can form a human relationship with
11:31 AM
Gavin trusts Jesus but prefers to pray to the Holy Spirit, which do note is a who and a He, not a what or an it
Seeing how my relationship has been healing for me.. healing is just happening automatically. I just feel my partner in my heart even when they are not around, their acceptance, support, this thing that makes my shame go away. When I revisit my memories with that, it's just so healing
I felt so strange in the beginning!
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